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  • Writer's pictureKim Martin

Man V's Woman

Updated: Apr 18


An opportunity for men and women to RISE TOGETHER! .......

Lets use real life to teach us.....


I have watched the feeding frenzy on Facebook over my ‘new relationship status’ with varying emotions from shock to feeling sick in my stomach.......

Important fact, I never knew this post was going to be on Facebook and I had not even told my family at this point, this is sadly how they found out!

David and I had been separated for only two days!

I had enough pain without adding the burden of 'social media people' looking at me and causing so much more unnecessary challenge.

NOT okay!!!!!


This SHOULD be a private time, not a reality show.


‘Writing to an audience’ is NOT love, nor truth. What was written is a total misrepresentation of what happened. A mirage of words …words are easy – behaviors are difficult.

I have two choices – present myself or let David’s post be the only narrative you know and then you wonder about mine. I am speaking out only because I was put in a light that did not represent me and I would not have written about this otherwise.

AND most importantly, women have remained silent FOR TOO LONG and there is a BIG lesson here which I will unpack further into this.


I will not go into many details BUT this does need to be said…I  did not choose away from David. I am allowing him to have a chance to find and BE his true essence and carry out his true calling, so he can be THE FULL force on earth that he was born to BE.

But MOST of all, my greatest wish for David is that he gets to have liberty of self, and his ‘little guy’ can finally play!


This I have tried to do with him, but was very unsuccessful ...because its NOT my job!

Did I want this, HELL NO! I grieve deeply for what could have been…. I did all I could and WAAAAY MORE. I also MUST think of myself, women sacrifice themselves as a default for EVERYONE else, this is NOT healthy for ANYONE.

We cannot put ourselves last anymore.


Our marriage was not perfect and more of a struggle than it should have been.

People always post ideal images, and I am guilty of not being fully real too. We all give a perception of a one-sided relationship – the ‘happy times’.

There are also the not pretty parts. There are the real parts too and it’s time to be real.

If we are ALL real and share the ups AND the downs, we connect more deeply!

That’s called LIFE!

Then we don’t feel like there is something wrong with us because we don’t fit an image ‘out there’!


Now back to humanity…. A lesson for US all!

It was so fascinating and painful to watch people’s behaviors…I have not changed from the person I was before the post and will not change after it. I am a GREAT woman, wife, friend, mother, sister, and aunt. I watched people blindly believing something to be true because someone of ‘perceived authority’ said so.

SOOO many opinions and judgements and messages from people I do not even know asking me to tell them why our marriage ended!!! WOW! Bombarding me!

I had NO capacity for this.

Some ‘close friends’ even decided to unfriend me…people I have helped countless times without even a conversation. Friends where I was celebrated by them just days before for giving gifts to their sons!


Then….

The choice to …..wait for it…

Will Kim ’counter respond’!

Let’s create a war!

Man v’s Woman…. Woman v's Man....side taking in the war against the greater EACH OTHER!


Let’s watch this couple that we admired spiral into the usual ‘War of The Roses’…..

We are so entertained by others’ lives, instead of investing in our own!

That post was shared over 20 times!! WHO DOES THAT!!!

WAKE UP! We are better than this!


I've spent the majority of my life studying human behavior and emotional health with an aim to actually uncover the weaponization of relationships and humanity.

The man versus woman, the woman versus woman, the man versus man, the mother-in-law versus the daughter-in-law, the friend versus friend, the mother versus the children, the children versus the children.

Notice all of the ‘verses’ - we are at war with ourselves and we think this is normal.

This I will unpack in further blog posts and my new book but for now it's really, really important to start looking at our individual behaviors and ask yourself...

IS THIS REALLY who I AM?


We are going to be our own destruction if we don't stop infighting with each other.

We are better than this. Humanity is craving for our reconnection to each other.

We are scattered and easy prey.


A man at his essence wants to love, honor, respect, provide for and keep safe his partner and be loved honored and respected back. The woman at her essence wants to feel safe, loved, protected, provided for, honored and cherished above all.

IT’S A DANCE TOGETHER!


Our essences have been cleverly weaponized against us -  we should not as a race be fighting each other every day and giving our energy away. You don't see animals doing this! they find partners and they live in tranquility, peace, harmony and flow with nature.

You don’t see them betraying, hurting, and making dramas!

They actually LIVE……do WE know how to do that?


Remember social media was created to divide, it is not a place of truth, YOU are YOUR own source of truth and moral compass. NOT something out there.


I sat and pondered on this for a while as to whether to respond to any of this or to just ‘rise above it’ and be the ‘better person’...blah blah. But my inner voice was screaming out to be heard!

A woman's voice is always silenced and I won't be silenced anymore -  we've been silenced long enough.

A man and a woman can dance together in harmony - that's how it's meant to be.


THEY BOTH CAN RISE TOGETHER AND LIGHT A SUN!  


A man and a woman are NOT a threat to each other – we are a force TOGETHER!

MUCH more than alone.


Don’t fall for the trick that our problems are some ‘out there’ attack on humanity, we are doing it to ourselves. DO not be the weapon against each other.

Life is NOT about who can be on top and win…there needs to be a focus on true harmony. We can each chose to look at what we are apart of and we need to consider others as much as we consider ourselves.


BE the best version of you, do the work to get rid of anything that is not your essence and let's rise and do this together - not apart.


Most importantly .... DO NOT CHOOSE WOUNDS OVER LOVE!


This is also NOT a time to now start diminishing or judging David because of this blog post.

That would be just moving energy that is destructive to a new target - give this destructive energy an alchemy instead. Do NOT turn your weapons on him or anyone, put them down and WALK AWAY FROM THEM.

Now - do something nice for someone and BE grateful you are here on earth because if you are, it means YOU have a role in a better humanity that starts with YOU.


Learn by our life! BE better. David and I are human, just like you..

Kim.


 


 

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17 Comments


Skunksprayer
May 07

Thank you for transforming your heart wrenching experience into a most profound teaching moment of love and harmony! I am forever grateful! 💥


Marilyn Mensing ❤️

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kathybelleau
Apr 20

I guess what threw me was how much you guys seemed to be in love. David was always gushing over you and you seemed to reciprocate. But perhaps that's the illusion of social media. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. We only post the best parts of us, the best moments.

By the way, I used to live in Australia, Oyster Bay, Sydney. It was beautiful.


Blessings,

Kathy

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woodentopsbydominic
Apr 20

When those we love do something unexpected or upsetting we should make sure our ego is not brought into play. The self is essential; the ego is untameable. This is why our species is destroying itself with poisons, absurd "laws", bombs, missiles; all so someones' ego can have a little satisfaction. You're absolutely correct Kim. Hurt will destroy us all if we let it.


Rather than a journey, let's have expansion of consciousness. Rather than vindictiveness, let's start every day correcting the wrongs in our own hearts and going forth with forgiveness and love.

Love and the reflections of love are the ONLY things we leave behind for the wild and unknowable future.

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barbaraaj3
Apr 19

I am so sad for you Kim . I love you and David both and what you both have brought to my life and my family's life. You have both brought truth and love and strength to so many of us .And for that I am eternally grateful. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Be always Love and Light, do not feel that you need to explain your personal life's decisions with anyone but whom you choose to.

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jelucas64
Apr 18

I am truly saddened by this news! I love you both and know you are both grieving! I wish you both the best! I wish you both more success! I wish you speedy comfort and soothing! May you all be blessed mightily! May you all find grace and clarity! May Sienna and the other family members be soothed and comforted through the next phase of your journeys! You are all in my thoughts and prayers!!! You are such a strong and caring woman and I appreciate your powerful love for all! Keep shining your radiant light!!!!


Love and appreciation,

Jackie

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